I AM FUCKING SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS SERIOUSLY THE BEST THING EVER
You have your mother’s cheek bones
godDAMMIT NOW WE’RE SHIPPING CUTLERY
TUMBLR YOU NEED TO S T O P
I hope this post comes back to me when it has a short story attached.
The Utensils were a happy family, just like any other. Fork was a loving, caring father, who worked at a bank, and Spoon was his beautiful wife, who owned a small business that allowed her to spend a lot of time with their son, Spork. Every day, when Fork came home from work, he gently clinked against the rim of Spoon’s face and asked how her day had been. She would go on and on about how her Aunt Bowl was letting anyone fill her up these days, and telling him he would never guess who they got a phone call from today (it was his brother, Knife), and he would just lean back against the china cabinet, staring at his wife’s beautiful reflective surface, and know everything was right in the world.
One day, however, everything was suddenly not right in the world at all.
Fork woke up in the silverware drawer and instantly knew something was wrong. He looked over to where Spoon normally slept, confused when he saw nothing but empty space. Or, at least, he thought it was empty. It took him a minute to see the small note left there. Oh no. God, no, he thought.
He picked up the note with shaking prongs, and read amid tears:
I’m sorry to leave you like this, but I just couldn’t face seeing you. It’s too painful. I’m not strong enough to tell you this to your face, and I know that makes me a coward. I know that makes me a horrible utensil. But I can’t do this anymore.
Do you remember Cow’s party the other night? The night she was so drunk she swore she jumped over the moon? Well, I met someone that night. His name is Dish. And we’re running away together.
Please, don’t try and find us. Dish makes me happy. He doesn’t spend all day staring at me, looking at himself in my reflection.
Fork collapsed to the ground, wishing he could tell Spoon that the reason he loved staring at her reflective surface so much, was because of the way her surface magnified everything around her, making it seem so much greater and more beautiful than people could see themselves as normally. Her personality did the same thing. It’s what he loved most about her. And what he would miss most of all.
I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS FUCKING SITE.
sweet jesus i’m crying over cutlery
things like this make me happy i have a tumblr
why is the female hero so often tomboyish
why cant there just be one like oops i chipped my barbie pink nail polish while brutally killing an entire armada of time traveling ninja pirates
with my hair curler
Follow if you LOVE
And any random funny/nerdy shit
uh i don’t like all of these (no seriously i love the last one) but i’m following anyways becausse i can always scroll past! <3
YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE THE EMO
If you don’t reblog this, get off of tumblr.
HAHAHA I reblog this everytime. I love his facial expression.
i like how he kinda swallows like he actually drank something omg
No one saw that, haha
The best super power ever has to be the power to refill things. Think about it, your glass is empty, refill it without getting up. Your bank account empty, power to refill it. Your bed is empty of a person of your preferred gender, refill it and have some fun.
At first I was all:
Well that’s the stupidest thing I ever heard.
But then I was all like:
GENIUS! PURE UNADULTERATED GENIUS!
has everyone got that one follower who is still a misha
Most of us got out of the Mishapocalypse. But some of them… some of them got stuck. And now they can’t get out. There transformation apparently did not went smoothly and now they are Misha. Forever.
They stared into Misha, and Misha stared back
The image of a Misha becomes a Misha
They have been upgraded.
when you see your reflection on your laptop screen and you just look
Found this on a bulliten board at school.
OMG I’M LAUGHING SO HARD MY SISTER WAS WATCHING CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN AND FUCKING JARED PADALECKI WAS ON IT AND IN BETWEEN MY TEARS I SAW HIM MAKE THIS FACE
AND I LAUGHED EVEN HARDER BECAUSE I REALIZED HE’S MAKING THE SAME FACE AND GESTURES AS NINE
HANG ON I FIXED IT
i love everything about this.
the look on their faces though. its like “omg, charles. charles, charles. THE HUMAN IS WAVING. WAVE BACK, HURRY.”
This is the best thing I have ever seen
reblogging again because I cannot freaking contain myself so cute
aww effin perfect.